closure and answered prayers

I've been praying for a particular need for quite some time. Over a year in fact. I've asked my small group bible study to pray, my church exec team and those that participate in a larger group prayer circle...all to pray for this need. I prayed specifically; for this need to occur in order to tie up loose ends and put closure to a painful part of my life. I know that God has His own timing, that things don't often happen as you think they will happen. And as is often the case, your answered prayers don't end up the way you think they will. My prayer, after over a year, was answered last week. A year later, not my timing. Without details, without information, , not like I expected. Without hoopla or drama....the prayer was quietly answered.
And I feel sad. I thought I would feel happy.

Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful the prayer is answered and the wait is over and we can move on and we can have-----CLOSURE. But when an answered prayer leaves you feeling bittersweet about the rest of the picture, you get back down on your knees and start praying new prayers for the rest of your needs. It's very clear to me that God does answer my prayers, maybe not how I expect or when I expect, and maybe not even with "yes" as the answer. But I will continue to move toward Him to get answers so I can grow and move on.

Top Ten Movies I Want My Kids to See

There are great movies being made everyday that I will enjoy taking my kids to see. But there are loads !!!! of movies out there that they would never, ever choose to watch on their own, that I think every kid should see. There are a few on this list that we have shown them recently, but this is the work in progress list...in no particular order.

10. Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)
9. The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)
8. Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang (1968)

7. The Incredible Mr. Limpet (1964)
6. Singin' in the Rain (1952)
5. The NeverEnding Story (1984)
4. The Princess Bride (1987)
3. Harvey (1950)
2. The Love Bug (1968)
1. Oh, God! (1977)
There are too many others to list here that are "must see's": Star Wars series, Ghostbusters, Bad News Bears, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Benji, Pete's Dragon, the original Tron.....a long list for sure. Maybe you're looking for something new to try with your kids. What are your family-friendly favs that I shouls add to my list??

Lost Arts

I live in the midwest. It gets cold here during the winter. Not "it's a little chilly I'll get a sweater cold", but freeze your face off when you go out to get the mail cold. Cold enough that my dog collapses when she goes out to the yard. Cold enough to call off school, but even too cold to go out to play in the snow because the snow has turned to ice. So we're home today from school, entertaining ourselves after being home for 2 weeks for Christmas.

One thing on my "to do" list today was to help my son finish his thank you cards. He's one of those "lucky" kids to have his birthday fall only a week after Christmas. With his birthday came presents. Wonderful gifts from wonderful people who know him so well that as each gift was opened it was very clear how much time and effort was taken by his friends to choose just the right thing for Adam's interests and hobbies. I was amazed at the variety of gifts and at the perfect choices for my son's personality. Such care and thoughtfulness!! Writing thank-you cards is something we have always done in our house. Since the kids were babies and couldn't write yet, their scribbles on a note written by me were sent to those who took the time to celebrate them in some way. My kids know that this is something they will be doing when they receive a gift. Not that they ENJOY it really yet :) but they do know that I will help. Today we sat down to write and at 11 years old Adam wrote his own messages. I addressed the envelopes for him and sat with him at the table so he would have company. On occasions like birthdays where there are many gifts we might break down the list into smaller sessions to lesson the "I'm missing out on something somewhere else!" factor. I've found that writing thank-you notes, and any other kind of letter actually, is something of a lost art. With texting and email the handwritten note has almost totally disappeared. But who doesn't love getting mail? That break from junk mail and bills to find an envelope addressed to you in handwriting you recognize.

But there's another lost art. Handwriting. My 2nd grader came home from school yesterday very excited about what happened in school. Super excited. Jumping up and down excited. Nope, not a school pet or extra recess. "We started learning cursive mom! Like big kids!" She was thrilled to be learning how to read cursive handwriting and write it. Many schools have done away with cursive saying it is old-fashioned and unnecessary when we have computers to type on, spell check, and texting.

I love writing letters. I love writing them in my own handwriting. I have saved letters from my grandmother that passed away many years ago, her own handwriting so easily recognizable to me and harder to read as she got older, but continued to write. Letters from my dad, my husband, my preschool aged kids, cards from my mother, letters from high school crushes and letters from family or friends who have both healed and hurt my heart. These letters are proof that someone has taken the time to sit down, and think about me in some way. Someone took time from their busyness to put me in their thoughts for longer than a text, longer than a commercial on tv, more than a box to check off the "to do" list.

So although it is a lost art, we will continue to write thank you notes to show appreciation and grateful hearts for people who took time to think of us. We will write them in our own handwriting and maybe someone, somewhere is saving one of our notes in a special box on their dresser. Like I do with mine.

Quiet.

They went back to school this morning and the house is quiet. Last night I did everything I could do to make the morning rush go a little more smoothly. The laundry was done, they had their clothes laid out, backpacks were cleaned then filled with folders and library books ready to return. Can you hear the washer and dryer? the kids arguing about putting their clothes away?  shouts of "I can't find that book!" I had shopped for lunch supplies and we found all the hats and mittens we knew we would need for the cold snap that came overnight. Can you hear the sounds of groceries being put away in pantry and cupboards? the slamming of closet doors and complaints of lost mittens? After a slight delay getting the van to go (the doors were frozen shut! Hello winter temps at last!), we were off and they were on their way back to school after two weeks of a really wonderful Christmas break. Hear the sounds of an ice scraper on my windshield, the beeping of a partially open/closed van door that is frozen!?

And now...it's quiet here. I know many moms are super happy about the words "back to school" after a long Christmas break. And I admit I am super eager to be able to clean a room and have it stay clean for the day. I've read the Facebook posts since Christmas Day; so many complaints of the mess, the kids fighting with each other, the lines for returns, the "I'm bored Mom" complaints amidst piles of gifts received just a few days before. But I have to say that even though I experienced some of this myself, (didn't I just comment about wanting a clean room??) I really enjoyed having them home with me. Hearing their laughter as they played, listening to the girl sing to herself, listening to the boy's constant "would you rather" questions, ("would you rather be in a car with a bunch of girls that love you and hate each other, or hate YOU and love each other?"), listening to her reading Ralph S. Mouse, listening to his loud music and efforts to train the dog to roll over. And now it's quiet.

I'll enjoy the quiet a bit for sure. And I will most likely treat myself to a manicure this week, watch some DVRd shows, crush some candy, and other things for myself. But I will also be really happy to meet them at the bus stop and hear the stories of their first week back after so long away from school. Quiet gone again...thank goodness.

Becoming the Stay At Home Mom

     I had taken a medical leave from my job teaching 4th grade in order to care for my dad. He had been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and needed all around care as he received treatments and neared the end of his life. I taught elementary school for 12 years in the same school district that we live in. After my dad passed on, there was his home and estate to attend to out of state, and I was devastated by his death. So I did not return to teaching that school year. During that precious time with my dad, we had many talks about the past and the future and my ideas about what I thought my life ahead would be like quickly began to change. My priorities became more clear, and the things I had focused on each and every moment of my dad while at work in the schools began to change. As many in the teaching profession can tell you, it's not been a good place to be lately. I felt the focus (kids) was being lost to data, scores, paperwork and meetings. My free time was less nourishing to my soul because I wasn't able to let go of thoughts of work and it's pressures. When I was home, my head was at school. When I was at school, my thoughts were about all that I wasn't getting done at home and all I was missing with my kids and my husband. I was feeling----lost.
    So after much discussion and praying, we decided that after 12 years of teaching, I would quit my job and become a....."Stay At Home Mom".  It was a great decision. But not an easy decision. And since that time, not an easy transition. It's been two years since my dad died and I am still trying to figure out this new "hat" I am wearing. The "mom walks you to the bus" hat. The "oh you don't work so you can volunteer for this right?" hat. The "I'm going to get myself organized" hat. The "wait for the kids at the school flagpole with the other  moms" hat.  Lots of new hats.
     The best part of being home is definitely being able to give myself to my kids. It is a total blessing to have this weight off of my shoulders and I am grateful each and every day for my husband's job allowing us the financial freedom to be able to do it. I am not unaware of so many friends that wish they could do the same. But this new hat is taking some getting used to for sure.

racing through the weekend

This weekend was one of those weekends that just wipes you out. There was so much planned, activities with our family...as well as things unplanned that I just feel so grateful for today, Monday, so I can stop.  Don't get me wrong, I had a fantastic time with my family this weekend, but I am really wiped out from racing through it all!

Starting with Friday: The kids had no school due to a Teacher Institute Day. I decided to take them to the zoo! It was such an odd experience to be at Brookfield during winter weather without other people there. We usually go at night for the Holiday Lights at Christmas, but this was amazing and I highly recommend it to everyone. We parked the van and I was car number 12. Yep, that's it. 12 cars in the parking lot!  There were times we just didn't see ANYONE else and walked through exhibit houses without anyone else except zookeepers who were only too happy to talk to my kids and I about the animals. We were also able to observe animals playing in the snow, wrestling with each other, and chasing prey through their environment. Watching the wolves run together as a pack was downright creepy and amazing!   We were able to take our time and never once got pushed, shoved, or had to wait in line to see something we wanted to see. And we took all the time we wanted at each exhibit. The QUIET was so strange and very good. We were also able to spend time with a newborn giraffe and wait quietly for another to have her  baby. No baby came yet, but was expected to deliver by yesterday. Watch the news!

Saturday brought Adam's STEM class at NIU. He spent the morning constructing a Popsicle stick bridge with a team. Next time, they will break the bridges to find out how  much weight each can support. They had to use a variety of engineering skills to build the strongest bridge. He's so excited to see what happens to it!

Late that afternoon, Mark took us to Johnson's Mound in Elburn to join a forest preserve program. They showed us how to tap maple trees using a spiel to collect the sap used to make maple syrup  It was a beautiful sunny day and we enjoyed spending it outside. But we really enjoyed watching them cook the sap over the campfire and then sampling the syrup! Yum! The newspaper was there. Here's the article from the Chronicle and picture about the whole program. You can see Adam's coat sleeve! :)

Saturday came to a close with delivering Girl Scout Cookies (which means a chance to catch up with the neighbors) and finding that our oven has finally bit the dust! So our yummy dinner get put into the fridge and a pizza was order quickly.

Sunday was  Adam's big District Pinewood Derby race in Oswego. He was Grand Champion from our pack, beating over 140 cars. Sunday's race wasn't as successful and he didn't place at all. But he had a great time and it was exciting to participate in a different race. He did get a participation trophy because going to district is a big deal! AND it all took place in my old junior high building...Traughber Junior High. Very surreal for me!

We wrapped up our Sunday by shopping for a new stove. And a miracle happened...we fell into a deal! Not just a good sale, but a ridiculous, once in a lifetime, too good to be true, can't pass it up, "make you an offer you can't refuse" deal. So we took it. And now my kitchen will feel like a new one. Can't wait to bake!  But for now, I need to rest a little. It's been a busy weekend and I need to slow down from the race.

play dates--the big switcheroo

This week both of my kids have had friends over to play after school.  On Thursday  Lucy was able to bring two little girls home on the bus with her, twins in fact. I enjoyed having them over and everyone had a great time the whole visit.  Friday, Adam had a friend from class come home on the bus too. He stayed the afternoon, had dinner with us, then we took him home. Everyone had a great time on this visit as well. All the kids gave me a great insight to my own children and  how they "play" at different ages. I just completely had an incorrect vision as to how each of these days were going to go!

I thought for sure the three little 5 year olds would be quietly playing dolls or dress up and doing what they do. I thought the boys would be out of control wildness, aggressively enacting some sort of military operation. ABSOLUTELY NOT. :)   I couldn't have been more wrong. Let me repeat that I enjoyed having ALL of these kids together and I will have them over again in a heart beat! But....such a different experience than I had anticipated.

The girls DID play dress up and dolls and kitchen, but they did it with absolutely every single piece of dress up taken out of the closet for close inspection first. They chose every single doll and put them into families laid out on the bed and floor. They took out every single stuffed animal and toy horse and led them into a giant animal toy parade. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. This all took place in her bedroom, then continued on into the playroom where a full on 7 course meal of plastic food was created and served in the toy kitchen. In between these activities, there was My Little Pony video watching and a game of "catch the cat". All done while singing of course. It was beautiful bedlam.

The boys were a different story. They came in and went straight to Adam's room where they discuss the finer points of Minecraft and what they needed to do to create the best world. They came down for cookies, ate them quickly and quietly-all business- then retreated for some Tom and Jerry on TV while talking about how they can set up "chat" on their iPods with each other. (not that I was listening in...)  Moving on---Legos, Furby, general silliness and laughter, but all in his room,  the family room or the playroom. There were no battles, shooting sounds or even ONE farting armpit!!  (do I sound disappointed?)  At dinner, they took a booth by themselves and invited Lucy to sit with them at the "kids table". They ate while they played and laughed and talked more about the best apps and homework. (Minecraft and Angry Bird BTW, and homework stinks-they have it now that the the big Immigration research project is done) And then moved on to planning the next time they could get together, but this time a sleep over so they would have more time.

I enjoyed ALL of these friends and loved how these siblings included each other and were kind to each other while they each had their own friends over. I loved that they all cleaned up after and were polite to the parents! What a great week these kids have had together. Can't wait to have them all over again!!